The Chocolate Bunny
by Bliss

In the dim light of early morning dawn, the Bazaar begins to bustle with activity. The Inspector barks orders to the Inspector Guards to set up the check point table as he stands there sipping his morning brew. He nods as a plump, jovial man walks past, carrying several overflowing bags. Ladislaw, the Chocolate Maker, greets the Inspector with a cheery, "Good morning, Inspector!" Always the first to arrive in the morning, Ladislaw stops where a gypsy beggar sleeps, curled up under a heavy blanket, and tucks a gold coin under the blanket, just as he did every morning.

But today, Zoardryn the 5th, in the month of the Fool's Errand, was not going to be just any other day, thought Ladislaw. No, today was the day his life would change, for the better he hoped. Heim's wife's tent was still shut tight, as were Vilson's and Wicktor's on either side. Ladislaw slipped inside the armorer's tent. If there was anything he learned from last year's fiasco, it was that if you want something done right, you need to do it yourself. Ladislaw shuddered as he thought of Thenardier. No, it was different this time. Besides, he bought "insurance" just in case. Actually, he was forced to buy the insurance, but no matter.

Ladislaw smiled to himself, and was about to make his way to the back work station of the tent when he heard the shouts of Wicktor and his cousin, Vilson. "Egads!" he thought, and quickly placed something wrapped in tissue paper on the table. He slipped outside, fortunately without being noticed by the two cousins. Vilson's face was turning a bright shade of red as he shouted at Wicktor, hung over from another night of merriment.

Ladislaw greeted the two, "Good morning, gentlemen!" Vilson nodded to Ladislaw and continued berating his cousin. Wicktor smiled and waved to Ladislaw, clearly oblivious to his cousin's shouting as he rolled up his tent flaps.

Ladislaw was nervous now. His stomach was tied in knots, and he wondered if he should run back and remove that item from Heim's wife's tent. No, he thought, I am not going back, and continued on his way to the south strip. Ladislaw carefully rolled up the tent flaps and secured them, and tried to keep himself busy as the sun began to rise up overhead.

"Ladi! Ladi!," Heim said as he ran into Ladislaw's tent, breathless, waving a chocolate bunny in the air. Ladislaw's face turned ashen as saw the red, velvet ribbon around the bunny.

"Ladi! I have a secret admirer!," Heim exclaimed. It took a moment for Ladislaw to regain his composure.

"Ladi, did you hear me? You need to help me find out who my secret admirer is, before Helena returns from Midgaard!" Heim said as he nudged Ladislaw.

Helena was always first to arrive in the Bazaar each morning, before Heim sauntered in a good two hours later. She made the best coffee in the realm and would always bring a cup by Ladislaw's tent. They would sit and chat together until Lumierre arrived, who would excitedly explain his latest wax creation. But today… today Heim was the one to open the tent! For the love of Tynian, Ladislaw swore to himself, this was not going as planned. This was bad, very very bad. Heim thought the bunny was for him!

"Listen to this, Ladi," as Heim held up a small card, and read:

"My dearest H -
"Roses are red.
"Violets are blue.
"Whenever I think of you,
"I turn to goo." *

"Why is Helena in Midgaard?" asked Ladislaw, trying to ignore Heim hopping around his tent. He's going to knock over my cauldron too, I bet. I hope he burns that fat, ungrateful arse of his, thought Ladislaw, as he tried to hide the grin spreading across his face.

"Her mother is ill, and she went to take care of her today. She left before dawn. Now, let's think! Do you think it's that lovely singer? I see the way she looks at me when she sings, Ladi. I bet it's her!" Heim sniffed at the card, trying to catch a scent, but all he could smell was the chocolate bubbling in the cauldron nearby.

Well…I have no choice but to play along. At least this will keep Heim distracted. "All right, Heim. Let's make a list of prospective admirers. I can talk to them and see if I can figure out who it is," Ladislaw said, as he thought about one of the gypsy women. He knew he could bribe one of them with a few gold coins and she could keep Heim entertained.

"There are the gypsy women, the singer, the barmaid," replied Heim. "Did any of them come and buy a chocolate bunny from you yesterday? I don't think the gypsies could write such a poem… in fact, I do not think they know how to write at all," pondered Heim.

"They could have had someone write it for them, and a lot of people bought chocolate from me yesterday, Heim. It could have been any of them, or all of them, for that matter," responded Ladislaw. He was relieved Heim was not the brightest fellow, for if he had half a brain he would have surely noticed that the chocolate bunny he held was not from the mold Ladislaw normally used.

No, this bunny was special. Very special. He had to make sure Heim did not eat that bunny. He had spent over a year planning for this very day, and his trip to the Grand Mistress of Magic had better not be wasted on Heim. That darn cat of hers would be eating the finest chocolate morsels for the rest of its life and all Ladislaw would have to show for it is a lovesick Heim! No, he needed to get the bunny back at all costs.

"Well, you can go chat with the gypsies, and maybe they'll do that special dance for you," Heim winked at Ladislaw. "I'm going to visit the singer and drop some hints about the poem. Even if it isn't her, maybe she might like to join me for supper while Helena is gone," Heim said as he grinned broadly.

Ladislaw seethed. What a fool to even think of another woman when he was married to Helena! Well, tomorrow evening, Helena and I will be sharing supper together, he reassured himself. She would come to her senses and dump this bumbling fool. It was unfortunate she needed a little help coming to her senses, but it was just a little help…

"Hmm, Heim, maybe I should hold on to the bunny here for safekeeping. It is going to be warm out today and you wouldn't want it to melt," offered Ladislaw.

"Oh no, I plan on sort of waving it around in front of them. I'll be able to tell by the reaction on her face who left it for me," said Heim as he bounced around again. "This bunny is something I shall keep forever, Ladi."

Ladislaw groaned inwardly. Now what? "Well, don't blame me if the thing melts all over your shirt. I warned you, Heim." I'll just have to get the bunny later, and give him a new one wrapped in the same ribbon, thought Ladislaw. He'll never know the difference.

Heim waved to Ladislaw and walked briskly toward the stage and the singer, pulling up his trousers and slicking back his hair. Ladislaw rolled his eyes, but needed to meet with the gypsies quickly. He put up his, "Be back soon" sign and walked toward the entrance of the Bazaar. As he passed by Tor's tent he heard a loud scream. Ah yes, today was the day one of the Dark Brothers was getting his tooth pulled. Tor was kind enough to offer his services for free. Poor Tor, Ladislaw thought, as he saw the Dark Brother's hands around Tor's neck. Passing quickly by the blacksmith's tent, Ladislaw nodded and waved to the Inspector as he made his way to the gypsy wagon.

Inside the cramped wagon, the smell of vanilla was nearly intoxicating. The gypsy women crowded around Ladislaw, their scantily clad bodies rubbing up against him. But oh that stench of vanilla was almost too much to bear. Did they bathe in it, he wondered? Ladislaw explained to one of the attractive young vanilla-stinking gypsies what he needed her to do, and handed her 2 gold coins. "You'll get 2 more gold coins after your job is completed," he said to her as he practically jumped out of the wagon, relieved that he could breathe fresh air again.

Heim, on the other hand, did not fair as well with the singer. He recited the poem to her, as he waved the chocolate bunny in the air. The singer stared blankly at him and continued on with her singing. Heim sighed and walked slowly back toward Ladislaw's tent.

"Hello there, Heim," came a cheerful shout from the tent across the way. "Hi, Lumierre, how are you doing?" said Heim.

"Just great! Come see my wax sculpture of Slue. Borlan commissioned it, and I'm almost done with it," said Lumierre.

"Borlan? Are you sure he doesn't want to use that as a voodoo doll, Lumierre?" asked Heim. "I didn't think they got along too well…"

"Well, Borlan paid me good money, in advance. Frankly, I really don't care what he does with it," responded Lumierre as he carefully carved Slue's axe. Heim chuckled.

"Lumierre, I need your help with something," asked Heim.

"Anything for you, friend," replied Lumierre.

"See this chocolate bunny?" Heim stated as he took the bunny out of his pocket. "A secret admirer left it for me this morning, and I need to figure out who it is."

"Maybe you should taste it, Heim. It does not look like the same bunnies Ladislaw sells here, friend," Lumierre said as he glanced at the bunny.

"This isn't one of Ladislaw's bunnies?! Oh that just makes it even more difficult to find out who my admirer is, Lumierre," sighed Heim.

"Taste it. You know those gypsies love vanilla, and they would have surely flavored it with vanilla. And spices, Grandma Schon likes to use spices in everything," pointed out Lumierre.

"I'll die if that old bag is the one that made this bunny, Lumierre!" shouted Heim. "But you're right, I'll taste it.." Heim nibbled on the bunny's ear. "Mmm, Lumierre, this chocolate is smooth and creamy, no hint of vanilla or spices...and…," Heim stopped in mid-sentence as he gazed upon the handsome candle maker.

"And what, Heim?" Lumierre looked up at Heim, who was staring at him in an odd manner. "What's wrong, Heim? Does the bunny taste funny? Are you okay, Heim?"

"Lumierre… I never noticed how your eyes sparkle in the candlelight," Heim blurted out, still gazing at the confused candle maker.

"Heim, give me that confounded bunny and stop staring at me! Lumierre grumbled as he snatched the bunny from Heim's hand. As he did so, he knocked over the sculpture of Slue.

"Blast!" Lumierre shouted and knelt down to get the bent sculpture. He was angry now and bit off the entire head of the chocolate bunny. Heim would owe him big if this sculpture was ruined. "Mmm, this is quite good, Heim," Lumierre mumbled from underneath his work table.

Ladislaw spotted Heim at Lumierre's tent. This was going to be perfect! The gypsy was on her way over to confess her admiration, but Heim needed to get back to his tent. "Heim! There was an attractive young gypsy over at your tent, she's looking for you. You better hurry," Ladislaw said excitedly as he entered the candle maker's tent.

Ladislaw nudged Heim, who seemed entranced by something underneath Lumierre's work table. Ladislaw looked down and saw Lumierre bent over, trying to get something from under the table. "Lumierre, hello there. Do you need any help?" Ladislaw asked.

Lumierre scooted out from under the table and stood up, brushing all the wax flakes off his apron. "I'm fine, Ladislaw, thank you for …" Lumierre stopped as he looked at the robust figure before him.

Lumierre was holding a headless chocolate bunny with a red velvet ribbon around its neck. Oh no! Not again! "Lumierre, please don't tell me you ate the whole head of that chocolate bunny," Ladislaw whined. This can't be happening, thought Ladislaw. An entire year's work, wasted on Lumierre. And before that, an entire year's work wasted on…on…Thenardier! Ladislaw shivered just thinking about that day. But, that is another story. At least he bought insurance this time.

"Please share it with me, Ladislaw? It's the most divine chocolate I have ever tasted," Lumierre said as he stared dreamily at Ladislaw. Ladislaw sighed. He knew that look all too well. Then he looked at Heim, who was still staring at Lumierre, and he sighed again.

"How would you two like to join me this afternoon. I need to make a delivery to the High Tower," asked Ladislaw, looking at Lumierre and then at Heim.

"You mean a date?" asked Lumierre as he winked at Ladislaw.

"Oh I would love to accompany you Ladi, if Lumierre joins us" said Heim a little too gleefully.

Ladislaw looked up and shook his head. Well, there is always next year...

* Ok, so I couldn't think of anything better to rhyme with "you," don't hold it against Ladislaw!

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