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(this log's from schwartz's point of view, and was edited by him)
You gossip, 'Bard performances for scores'.
Arella gossips (in common), 'stupid bards! they get all the quests!'.
You gossip, 'Ok, we're in the Storytelling Amphitheatre if any Death Mages (or others) care to listen in'.
The Storytelling Amphitheater
[Exits: west]
You are in a small amphitheater. Several rows of curved marble benches
curl comfortably around a raised dais. The high ceiling and polished
stone walls are shaped to reflect the voice of the speaker at the dais,
letting them be heard throughout the room. An open archway to the west
leads out into a small courtyard.
Kirith is here.
(Dark Purple Aura) Matado is resting here.
(Light Cyan Aura) Huglak is resting here.
17 players.
Dwa [ Implementor ] Tynian, Olympic coach for the National Mob Team.
Gno [ Wa:26 Sh:28 ] Lycron, the Dark Advocate.
Elf [ Wa:30 Th:30 Ma:30 ] Arella. *Mirth*Choice*
Hel [ Bard: 18 12 11 ] Kirith Whitefire is here, being better than you.
Elf [ Wa: 5 Cl:12 ] Malakai, Scout of the Nashite Magi. -dbk-
Elf [ Cl:18 Wa:17 ] Magnus, The Dark Templar
Hum [ God ] Schwartz can make his title whatever, he edited the log
Min [ Bard: 20 20 14 ] Ratchus, Virtuoso of the Black Conclave
Ogr [ Bard: 19 10 4 ] Huglak pay 5k fer score
Hum [ Ma:29 Ra:30 ] Belsambar Won the Gold in Suicide Division...*Analay*
Dwa [ Wa: 9 Cl:17 ] Laeoric, Curate of the Black Conclave
Ogr [ Bard: 11 2 1 ] Matado the Ogre
Elf [ Ma: 7 ] Ilian, Minion of the Deepwood.
Elf [ Ra:30 Tg:30 Ma:30 ] Vidal, Warden of the Black Conclave
You gossip, 'Ratchus, you joining us?'.
Huglak becomes overwhelmed by rage and nearly slices Matado in half.
Matado throws crabcakes at Huglak.
Huglak stops himself and remembers his anger management classes in Thistlerock.
Huglak breathes deeply and hides behind Kirith.
Kirith smells wonderful.
Matado wonders why anybody would take anger management classes from Gnomes.
Matado smells terrible!
Huglak says (in common), 'gnomes cheap'.
Huglak says (in common), 'and have catchy sales pitch'.
Huglak says (in common), '"hey, at least we're happier than ogres''.
You say, 'Kirith, go ahead'.
Kirith says (in common), 'Fine, fine, since nobody ELSE is going to do anything.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'Silence, slackwit!'.
You say, 'You mutants will be nice to each other'.
You say, 'Or else'.
Kirith says (in common), 'Now....'.
Kirith says (in common), 'Women often write me poetry....'.
Kirith sits down and thinks deeply.
Kirith says (in common), 'Usually, to be honest, it's horrible.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'These women, however, have inspired me. I -am poem-worthy.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'I am amazing. Why NOT have a masterpiece written about me? The only problem is that these women have been writing them.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'Sure, they're infatuated with me. Who isn't? That doesn't mean they're worthy to write of me, however.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'To be truly immortalized in word is a blessing. A blessing I have taken upon myself.'.
You say, 'Is there a performance in your performance, somewhere?'.
You say, 'err umm are you in the middle of it already?'.
Kirith says (in common), 'You need the backstory, Schwartz. Women adore me. Men want to be me.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'If you're jealous.....'.
Kirith understands.
Huglak mumbles, 'ogre want to smash you'.
Kirith says (in common), 'Sometimes I am jealous of myself.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'Without any ado or further introduction, might I read a small piece of my epic poem entitled "The Kirith"'.
You cheer enthusiastically at the way things are going.
You say, 'I've never cheered to get to the beginning before'.
Kirith says (in common), '"K: For the Kisses I wish to bestow upon your masculine body, glistening in the sun."'.
Kirith says (in common), '"I: Because you're Incredible."'.
Kirith says (in common), '"R: Your Refined. Or is it Rich? Why, the answer is you're both!"'.
Kirith says (in common), '"I: Because really, you're THAT Incredible."'.
Kirith says (in common), '"T: Stands for Toy. You toy with my heart and my emotions, you taudry tart!"'.
Kirith says (in common), '"H: Hunk. Hungry for you, you Hunk."'.
Kirith says (in common), 'I have another 10 pages devoted to the last name of Whitefire, but I'm sure you get my point.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'Women of the world, take note. All future poems to me shall be in that format, and use those words, in that same order. '.
Kirith says (in common), 'I hate to use the stage as a teaching tool....'.
Kirith says (in common), 'but it must be done. '.
Kirith bows deeply.
Kirith steps back.
Matado pulls out some lettuce and tomatos from a saddlebag and starts throwing them at Kirith!
Matado saves the biggest one and mashes it on Huglak's head.
Huglak looks around and begins to gather the veggies and snack on them.
You say, 'Uh, wow'.
You say, 'Nice work, Kirith'.
You grin mischievously.
Huglak hoot and hollar.
Kirith nods.
Kirith says (in common), 'You're speechless, I see.'.
Kirith says (in common), 'My work is amazing, I know.'.
Huglak walks around the room oblivious to the large tomato on his head resembling a human-sized hat.
You grin mischievously.
You say, 'Ok, Matado?'.
Matado says (in common), 'still preparing, huglak?'.
Matado hides.
Huglak says (in common), 'true bard always 'still prepare''.
Huglak says (in common), 'amateur'.
Huglak grunts something incomprehensible.
Schwartz warms up his 'Be Nice' rift.
Matado pulls an oversized watermellon out of a saddlebag.
Matado smashes Huglak in the face and laughs uncontrollably.
Your soul rift devastates Matado.
Matado bursts into tears.
Huglak clap and giggle like schoolgirl.
You say, 'Go ahead, Huglak'.
Huglak bows deeply.
Huglak wipes the watermelon and tomato from himself and begins.
Huglak leaves the room.
Huglak fumble around as he brings an ogre-sized load of props into the room.
Huglak throw them onto ground, and carelessly start to set them up.
Huglak leave and bring back biiiiiiiiiiiig rock.
Huglak say, 'we begin now. please shut up or me smash you'.
Schwartz gives Huglak Noisy Audience Smash Stick.
Huglak wields Noisy Audience Smash Stick.
Huglak bows and walks to the opposite side of the rock and hides behind it.
Huglak clears his throat and starts to practice voices.
Huglak's hand, hidden inside a girl-ogre puppet begins to walk about on top of the rock and dance.
Huglak say (in girl-ogre), 'tra-la-la-la-la. Oh how I wish I had some company'.
Huglak shoots up his other hand from behind the rock which is sporting a nice Huglak look-a-like puppet.
Huglak say (in Huglakspeak), 'me company'.
Huglak say (in girl-ogre), 'Oh what a strong handsome surprise. Won't you entertain me?'.
Huglak say (in Huglakspeak), 'me know sing. Sing for you'.
Huglak makes the two puppets dance up and down for a moment and then the Huglak puppet walks nearer and clears his throat.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'Oh pretty girl'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'Huglak love you'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'Please oh-OH-oh please'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'Say you love him toooOOOooo'.
Huglak makes the girl-ogre puppet get the jitters and makes lovey-noises (or at least thats what he intended)
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'Oh pretty girl'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'Come home with I'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'Me make dinner'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'And finger pie'.
Huglak makes a bunch of drum and guitar sounds from behind the rock and starts jammin' out.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'COME HOME WITH ME'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'ME MAKE HAPPY'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'ME CALL YOU LOVE'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'AND YOU CALL ME PAPPY'.
Huglak sings (in Huglakspeak), 'oooOOooooOOOooooooo'.
Huglak finishes up his song with a big squealing guitar solo. Girl-ogre falls in love with Huglak, and they walk off together.
Huglak stands up from behind the rock looking like he feels a little silly.
Huglak says (in common), 'that how it happened'.
Huglak bows deeply.
You say, 'Can I have my stick back?'.
Schwartz may need it later.
Huglak like it.
Huglak remove a Noisy Audience Smash Stick.
Huglak give back to Schwartz.
Matado smashes a cantelope on Huklags head, then takes the stick and runs to the other side of the room.
Matado sits down and grins toothily.
Huglak pitches the cantelope at Matado's groin.
Matado wiggles his bottom.
Schwartz steals the Noisy Audience Smash Stick from Huglak, and hands it to Matado.
You say, 'No fighting'.
Matado snickers softly.
Who's your Daddy? HUGLAK's your daddy!
Arella gossips (in common), 'are the bards performing or fighting? '.
You gossip, 'A little of this, a little of that'.
Matado says (in common), 'hmm ok'.
Matado holds up the stick.
Matado stands up, looks around and clears his throat.
Matado grabs dah Mic and...
Matado says (in common), 'I like big buns and i cannot lie...'.
Matado says (in common), 'You ogres cant deny..'.
Matado says (in common), 'That when a human comes in with an itty bitty waist and some buns i just cant chase'.
Matado says (in common), 'I GET SICK'.
Matado says (in common), 'Cause i hate a toothpick'.
Matado says (in common), 'I wanna beat that booty with a stick!'.
Matado holds up the Noisy Audience Smash Stick and waves it around in a spanking manner.
Matado thinks about what he just said and realizes that this is just horrible, and sniffs slightly, then sits down.
You snicker softly.
You clap at his performance.
Huglak laughs.
Matado then retrieves yet another watermellon from a saddlebag and throws it at Huglak!
Matado deftly dodges Schwartz's rift, and then sits down, folds his hands in his lap, and smiles toothily.
You say, 'Hmm, sounds like someone needs a 'play nice' nap'.
You wink suggestively at Matado.
You say, 'Ok thanks for the performances'.
You say, 'Really enjoyed them, thanks VERY much'.
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